It’s been a weird few weeks. Lots of soul searching and wondering if I’m doing the right thing.
It feels as though just when I think my life is on track, something goes wrong. I’m trying to stay positive, but some days it’s too damn hard. The more people tell me to trust that all will be ok, the more I want to crawl under a rock and hide from everything.
I was lucky enough to get away this weekend to visit family where I can sit by the pool and relax. It’s peaceful here. Quiet.
Sometimes I need that.
I’m not good at relying on others. When things get tough and I can’t turn my mind off I tend to retreat within myself. I prefer to be left alone. I like to dwell within the solitude of my own head.
It’s probably not healthy.
I’m trying to be better at talking and expressing myself but it’s always a struggle. I have thick walls. I don’t trust easily.
I am lucky enough to have a couple amazing friends who will listen to my bullshit and give me honest feedback. I am so very thankful for them.
The coming weeks are going to be difficult. I am hoping beyond hope I can remain true to myself and what I want for my life.
We shall see.